Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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