so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
