I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
she told me i tasted like america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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