a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
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