hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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