did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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