i just google imaged poop.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
