for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
