I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
