i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
