My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
