Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
