Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
