I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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