can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
