turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
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