Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
