If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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