ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
