she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
