so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
