People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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