Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
