you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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