is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
She announced her abortion via fbk
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
