Joe is yelling at the trees again.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
