i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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