He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
