Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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