Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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