My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
