Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
