Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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