im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
