just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
