Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
