ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Randomize
