I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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