This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
