we have pet lesbian snakes
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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