When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
