Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
