And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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