He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
