so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
PANTIES FOUND
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