All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
