just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
