Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
