i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
