okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
