yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
