Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
