you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
