Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Randomize