There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
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