i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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