how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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