I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
