Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I'm bleeding and have questions
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