Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
