Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
