Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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