I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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