i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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