Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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