I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
