she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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