Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
There was a lot of him and a little penis
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
