I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
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Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
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I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
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