Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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