i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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